Fine. We work together and I am therefore obliged to know about your life, including, but not limited to:
*your new kitchen
* how much you spent on shoes
*you son’s new girlfriend
*your kid’s soccer game
*your sister’s wedding
*your dating life
*the dating life of your daughter
(All incredibly stimulating and engaging topics, aren’t they?)
I suffer through it, yes, but… *news flash*… I don’t care!
Your life is boring, and therefore, I know your vacation was boring, ok? If I thought you were cool, we would’ve been traveling together, no?
I truly don’t care about your vacation. All I needed to know is that you were gone and I was happy. I’m really not interested unless your situation went all “Locked Up Abroad.” THEN we can talk (and hopefully watch the video).
I don’t want to see pictures of your family all lined up like cookie cutter soldiers (in matching outfits!) on a cruise ship. Nope, I really don’t! Besides, (most) cruises are for people who are scared to get down and dirty in a place. It stops you from finding the heart and soul of where you visit, thereby not enabling you to come to any interesting revelations about yourself, your life, your world. It’s like meeting a person and just finding out their name, but not what makes them tick. Anyway, I digress. Your vacation belongs to you and whoever went on it with you (God Bless ’em, is all I gotta say about that). Unless you’ve made some fascinating observations (doubtful), or you plan to send me on vacation, leave me to my drone work! Now!
(For the record, when I talk about my vacation, that is totally ok. Just so we’re clear on that, ok? Oh c’mon, I give you interesting things to think about, I swear!)