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Category Archives: School

Deuces, Ecology! (In other words, goodbye)

Worst class on the planet. For now.

I was frazzled. I was at the end of my rope. Words made no sense anymore and nothing would stick in my brain. I thought “photosynthesis” was when two photos looked great together. Ok, I’m kidding about the last one, but all the rest are true, true, TRUE!  The whole time I was in this wretched class (ok, only 2 weeks, but 2 weeks of pure hellish torture—hmm… maybe they should use this at Guantanamo?) I couldn’t help but think “what’s the point?”  The professor, although I only met him online, was a total jerk. He wanted the class to fail. Why would anyone want this? The only answer I can come up with is that he’s a crazy, narcissistic bastard who feels that plankton and algae are just so misunderstood.  Whatever the case, I’m throwing my two fingers up and rejoicing at the fact that I made it through, grabbed my three credits and inched that much closer to the end!

On the plus side (could there really be one?), I found some interesting topics while powering through that class that did make me say “hmm…” (and it wasn’t just the rabbits eating habits). More on that in a bit!  For now, I barely have time to catch my breath and recharge my brain for the spring semester, which starts…now.



Winter “Interim” Classes Aren’t For the Faint of Heart… or Brain.

It’s January, and that means a break from hell, er, I mean school, right? Wrong! Not in this girl’s life, not this year! Foolishly, I decided that taking a winter session class (approximately 3 weeks) would be a good idea. Did I mention the class I decided on was a little no brainer called Elements of Ecology?  I shall pause now while you roll on the floor with laughter.

Done? Good, although I’m not mad at you for mocking me. I’m a fool, I tell you, a fool!! Elements of Ecology? What the hell is ecology?? I probably should’ve looked it up beforehand, but that would have just scared me away and taken all the fun out of my winter “break.”

Well, friends, I discovered that ecology is all about plants, animals, photosynthesis and lots of letters representing chemicals or something. It’s not interesting. It’s boring and dense and hard. Did I mention that we have 8 exams in a two week period, 4 days a week? Did I mention the chapters are about 100 pages of tiny, scientist print? Did I mention I should be reading right now because I have a test tomorrow? Did I mention I’m still working my full time job while doing this?  Did I mention I discovered that rabbits eat their own poop for nutrients and I really hope that’s on the exam because it’s the only thing I remember?

Just yesterday, I was at a melting point, freaking out all over the place about the crazy intensity of this class, but then something happened. I reached a turning point, shall we say (or a complete mental breakdown—you decide).  I decided I’m up for the challenge!  No boring old fussy professor with a white beard who things he’s smart is going to bring me down! I will beat you, Elements of Ecology!  I’m determined!!

 How, you say?

Well, if any of you know any Scientists who I can hire to take these exams, please email me.  I’ll pay top dollar (actually, I’d probably pay in food, but its really good food, so that’s equivalent to top dollar, no?)

Kidding!! On with the chlorophyll!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

(Chlorophyll? More like Bore-a-phyll! Oh, Billy Madison, you have no idea how right you were…)

I am a prisoner once more.

Ok, that is slightly overdramatic, but hello! I’m a poet, lest you forget.  No, I am not blogging from Rikers Island or anything like that…. No, it’s much, much worse.


 Yes, friends, the time has come when yours truly, the eternal student, spends her nights learning lots of mostly boring, useless information. I must confess, I use this time mostly to doodle in my notebook and write. So, maybe it’s not a waste of time after all…? Maybe it’s actually a productive time for me? Yes, that’s a good way to spin it!! If only it were true.

 At times I like being the eternal student. My goal is to see how much information I can actually store in my head. I like thinking, and I like learning… so one would think that college would be my favorite spot on Earth.   Sadly, though, too much of college these days is not actually about learning, it’s more about just getting by. It’s about the points, the grades, the endgame. Why does it have to be like that? Can’t we just chill out, sit back, and learn? Can we go all Aristotle and just sit around philosophizing? If college were built for us to actually learn, it would be a lot more enjoyable. Instead, just like everything else, it is just something that is there, to be plowed through in order to get to the next moment.  I wonder if anyone stopped to think, however, what exactly the next moment is.  A lifetime of work, most likely in a field other than what your degree is in? A total erasure of memory of anything you may have learned in the last 4 (or in my case, um… 100) years?

 When I began college, I thought of it as this enchanting place that would stimulate your mind and send you out there, searching for answers to life’s biggest questions (I know, so silly and romantic, right?). I couldn’t have been more wrong. In reality, it’s just a place where people roam through classes, spitting out mostly regurgitated, uninspired thoughts that they think will impress the professor. The majority of the people seem to have the same thoughts, and some have no thoughts at all. There are lots of requirements and tests, and papers to be written in strict formats. There are really expensive books to buy, which, more than likely, you will never read.  Instead of a world to enlighten your thinking, college has just become another place to “get through” and then say goodbye to.

 What should we learn in school? It’s a good question, one I’m not sure that I have an answer for (although I totally should after all the years I have spent there, no?).  Maybe we shouldn’t learn to memorize, but to think.  Maybe we need to go deeper, to get into the ideas, sort them out, see what they are really all about.