Why, oh why, do we attend BBQ’s in the summer??

This post especially applies to those of us in areas such as the Northeast, who experience all 4 seasons. So, think about it, and don’t just write this topic of as pointless… like, oh, duh, we have bbq’s in the summer because it’s warm. Um, no… correction… it’s HOT. Sometimes BLAZING hot. Why do we wait for the hottest days ever to plop ourselves outside trying to cook food over a big, hot, open fire (fine, not technically an open fire, but still)  and then (attempt) to enjoy foods mixed with (perishable) mayo?? Really, I mean, who came up with this idea? Wouldn’t the outside land be much more enjoyable in the seasons of Fall and Spring, when the sun isn’t death hot and the bugs aren’t so abundant? Shouldn’t the point be to actually ENJOY the outdoors instead of wiping sweat off your face every two seconds and daydreaming about running off into the amazing world of air conditioning?  Or, even better, participating in the act of trying to crowd under the ONE tree providing shade  in the whole backyard with the rest of the poor suckers stuck outside in the body melting heat. Why, why do we do it?? I mean, and I didn’t even touch on the subject of the “plate on lap” balancing act that always seems to occur when you are at these things. Yeah, that’s comfortable. So comfortable that I’ve actually gotten rid of my kitchen table, and I eat like that all the time now! I’m kidding, but SEE! That just proves how stupid it all is.

Now, don’t get me wrong… I’m a LOVER off all things cooked on the grill…especially skirt steaks or big, juicy burgers, but seriously? When it’s 105, I’m taking the plate inside, my friends.

Oh, and shout out to all the Texans… I’m sorry I confused y’all by saying “bbq,” but in the (yankee) Northeast, we use this as a verb and not a noun, just so we’re clear.  I love ya, Texas.